To make the fun bloom, we will remember these principles:
1. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. (Same goes for Daddy). This became a cliche for a very good reason. If we are exhausted and stressed out and annoyed by our efforts to make everyone smile, it just ain't gonna work.
2. You can choose to make relationship more important than details. Microwave popcorn and a snuggle on the couch is more nourishing than Kale chips and a fight. (And yes, I do know that microwave popcorn is toxic. I'm not giving it to my kid every day. And if you are judging me already, we are not going to have a fun relationship. So let me just gently point out #3)
3. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. There are good parents who are doing the best they can with the time, resources and personalities their family has been blessed with. And you are almost certainly one of them. And so am I.
4. Parenting is NOT a competitive sport. You can choose not to impress strangers with your parenting. The liberating secret is that they will or will not be impressed for their own reasons, and you have no control over that. So relax and pretend that the only people you want to please are the ones that sleep in your house.
5. A parent is not a buddy. A parent is not a Drill Sargent. Finding the balance, where you can play with your child, and still be respected, is an art.*
6. Childhood goes by in a blink. I know everyone says this, but it is true. So don't be too busy making them into future perfect adults. Spend your time doing things that make you happy together.
*If you want one clue about how I find this balance, it is this: As much as possible, I only say things if I mean them. For instance, "We are leaving now" means just that. So we pack up, we say our goodbyes and we leave. When there is resistance, I express sympathy for the sadness of going, but then we matter-of-factly go (even if one of us carries the other out the door). No drama, no counting, no other option. This is reasonably easy with toddlers, harder with older ones, but magically powerful.
